member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
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At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
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I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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