would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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