Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
