My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
