She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
