That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
