do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
