Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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