she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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