YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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