I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
