My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
