I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
