Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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