went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
