just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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