My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
