hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
