I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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