How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
pop tarts are not kleenex
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
