Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
