break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
