sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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