the condom got lost in my hair
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
