11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
