nut hugger
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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