You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
