Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dragonride hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.

Fav 8 2013 1339
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?

Fav 18 3876 1374
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.

Fav 10 3094 1062
share tweet
(307): View more from Wyoming

Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.

Fav 11 1277 4766
share tweet
(209): View more from California

Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.

Fav 3 1660 1109
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.

Fav 13 1605 1053
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!

Fav 1 1735 751
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.

Fav 3 1168 479
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??

Fav 0 68 36
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT