NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
