Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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