well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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