i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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