Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
