We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
