dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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