see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
