Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
