i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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