so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
