I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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