He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
