maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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