It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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