Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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