Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
