Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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