Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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