Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
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She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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