I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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