Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
