I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
