Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
