My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
