i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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